Absolutely INSANE.

Seriously, things have been just that- absolutely insane.
First- we (I) found empty bottles of wine hidden through out the house. I knew they were new because they were the wines we used at our wedding. LeeAnn (the alcoholic who had gone to rehab and who goes to AA meetings 3-4 times a week) has been drinking! AWESOME!
This lead to a large confrontation, which lead to Nick deciding that we were to move out that (last) weekend. FUN!
Second- The house, how I love it... is (was) not in livable condition. No ceilings, plaster everywhere, dirty walls in all of the rooms. I painted our room, so at least there's one room in the house that's livable (still no ceiling). I have been working on Magnus' room while he has been napping over the past coupe of days. It was this neon orange-red color... so I had to primer it. I still have one wall left to primer. I painted one wall blue. I'm excited for him to see his room, he's gonna love it. I'm leaving the (smallest) wall around the closet the red, I'm painting above the window green & below it chalkboard, the next wall blue & the last wall yellow. Using all Disney paints with awesome names. Then we're gonna put super hero decals allllllll over the walls. We were discussing who will go where, and somehow Nick thinks that the Green Lantern is more crucial than Wolverine. Riiight.
I got our kitchen mostly unpacked. It's great to see all of our things. C:
Before all of our stuff was out on the counters I wanted to paint the cabinets. I thought they were absolutely hideous. Now... not so bad! I'm gad because it would have been a lot of work to take all of the doors down, sand them, primer them, paint them and then put them back up. I will still paint the walls, the retro cabinets will be the focal point of the room. Retro in a good way, I hope.
Oy.

almost!

i am very exciting for my wedding day, that being said i cannot wait for this to be over! there is so much to plan i don't have time for anything else. it is fun, and i know the day will be worth it all in the end.
i think i am just really bad with anticipation.

oy

the wedding is less then a month away. whoa. friggin crazy!
we have basically everything figured out, bought, planned... we do still need to buy the rings tho. and all the stuff for the groomsmen, but it's all on hold at barney's. i think we might need to reconsider ryan as one of the groomsman, just because he doesn't have any money at all and i don't want him to feel pressured into buying the clothes, plus renting a hotel room for a night or two on top of it.
i'm also having major maid of honor drama. ughhh. seriously, it's nothing less than ubsured. it's stupid and childish. well, acutally more than anything it's just selfish. i don't want to go into it because it's just a lot to type & not really important enough to waste my time on.

i'm a little stressed right now, LeeAnn had a relapse last night. i was shaking when she got home & realized what was going on.
her supposed 'best friend' (her actual best friend lives in sacramento & she is the most awesome woman i have ever met, this woman worked with her, and was MAD when she went into rehab.) made her a drink last night. i know it was just what she wanted. she has such a horrible drinking problem herself i'm sure it just made her feel better to see LeeAnn drink.
i know it's part of the recovery process, and i shouldn't be mad at the friend, but i am. LeeAnn was doing so great. this friend even comes over here, bottle of booze in hand.
what sucks the most about it is she's the one catering our wedding!

i am very excited for next weekend, i have 2 bridal showers! one at ashley's house & one at nick's parents. if anyone can't come to the saturday shower they're more than welcome to come to the sunday shower... and it would be appriciated since the only people invited to that one was nick's family. i need some normalcy!

i have been visiting bosco (the dog i am in love with) at the pound, no one has swooped him up yet. he is such a love. one of the workers even lets me take him out alone when i go in. it's friggin awesome. i think i'm gonna go visit him before work today. C:
he's like 8 months old, white & brindle, loves kids, doesn't jump, lets me take food out of his mouth & is all around awesome.

rants & raves.

i have come to terms with the fact that i like the idea of blogging much more than i like the act of blogging.
i do like reading everyone else's blog tho...
honestly, i don't have much time to do much of either between babies, grown babies & wedding planning.
the wedding planning is going splendid. we changed the location of the reception from grammy & papa's house to a hundred year old church's parish hall that over looks the ocean. it's somehow cheaper than renting tents and heaters. don't ask me how. it's super cute though (and there's a link on our wedding website). invitations are all addressed, we will be sending them out soon! leeann and i have been doing a lot of shopping for decorations, and have found some beautiful things! it sucks tho... they don't get cherry blossoms in mendocino/fort brag, and we can't seem to find any florists who carry them so we have had to find faux (gosh, that sounds so much nicer than FAKE) cherry blossoms. not an easy feat!
my wedding dress is done, and the only dress that needs to be finished as far as the bridal party is jessie's. i am happy beyond words that all of the girls like their dresses!
our menu is done as well mostly sushi (sorry, kamecia)... but there will also be other asian inspired foods. nick's mom tried to talk me out of the sushi, saying not enough people like it. duuuude, it's my wedding... nick and i will hella eat ALL of the sushi if no one else does. don't tempt us.
i volunteered for a bay area dog rescue (www.smileydogrescue.org). i am excited to get going with that... i think i will be doing a lot of volunteering until i get a job to keep me sane. i have also been thinking about volunteering at the pound.


i hate nosey people. i hate people who pass judgement over people they don't know. i (sometimes) hate that one of my best friends carries both traits. we got in a 3 hour argument (AT WORK) yesterday because i don't believe in hell or satan. seriously? aren't people allowed to think what they want? i think the real reason she was upset is because i am 'spiritual' not 'religious' and therefore don't want and talk about jesus, christ, or the son of god said at our wedding. pffft. what the frack ever. now i'm getting all worked up again. it just really grinds my gears when people can't accept who other people are.

don't judge me

i am going to attempt the master cleanse...

lazy buns.

i haven't been doing the things i enjoy most lately, and i hate it.
i MISS going to yoga. the feelings i have during and the way i feel afterward especially.
i MISS going on walks.
i MISS being in the garden.
there are more, but those are the three that i miss the most. i'm going to start going to yoga on sunday mornings again. i think i really need that 'me' time.
hopefully moving with change and motivate.
it's getting hard in the dark, cramped apartment. it never seems to change no matter how much i clean. which is a lot. it blows my mind.
my mom took me house hunting, i found the house of my dreams. it's perfect, quaint. it even has a buddha in the front yard... i think it's a sign. i'm giving my mom a day or so to digest everything we saw, and then i'm going to ask her to place a bid on it.
it's in an amazing neighborhood. 4 bedroom, 2 bath. large backyard. 2 story(2 bed/1bath up-2 bed/1 bath down).
here's hoping...